The internet is replete with stories of the fears being associated with “Being a woman” in a patriarchal society. And as the society is considered patriarchal, should it be assumed that a man need not fear?
As a man, do I need to fear?
Before we answer this question, let us look at this case below,
Often men are looted, mugged, robbed on brazen roads and in the process also get injured or killed and many such men have lost their lives but there has never been a hue and cry in the society and media about the same. No questions have ever been raised about the safety of men or no steps taken to make the streets safer for men.
It must be borne in mind that its men who take more risks and often have to go out at night for some work, emergency or unexpected call and if the streets aren’t safe for men, they would not be for women and merely focusing on making streets safer for women while leaving men in the lurch would not suffice.
However, instead of looking for solutions, let’s first dig the problem a bit deeper. The key question, this article tends to raise is – “Do I fear as a man?”
And the answer is – Yes, I do fear as a man.
Let us now proceed to look what are my fears as a man.
As a man I fear,
- Expressing my fears,
- Getting into any kind of argument with any woman as it may lead to me being termed as a rapist or a molester.
- Getting beaten up by passers-by on road any moment as some woman may accidentally brush against my body and cry that I molested her.
- Any woman can beat me to pulp and later cook a story that I molested her or tried to rape her and it will lead to further abuse of me while she will be hailed as bold woman.
- Getting arrested any moment my wife starts an argument with me over a minor misunderstanding as she has the power to convert it into a domestic violence or dowry harassment case against me.
- Losing access to my children if my wife doesn’t like me meeting them.
- Talking to my parents if my wife doesn’t’ want it to happen.
- That the patriarchal setup of this society will make fun of me if I am harassed or abused by a woman and I try to express it.
- Breaking a relationship with my girlfriend even if I am unhappy in it and see no future ahead fearing false rape cases.
- Talking to women as I may be called a misogynistic, chauvinistic pig if I disagree with her.
- My life being ruined and losing all social esteem due to one false allegation on me and there would be no compensation for the same.
- Visiting a police station and giving my complaint against a woman as the police will connive with her and frame me in a false case.
- Media will never project my side of the story if a woman defames me in the media.
- Losing my career over professional disagreement with a female colleague
- Doing something for myself which my family doesn’t want me to do.
These are just some of the fears that I have listed here based on my own experience as a man in this society and in my interactions with other men. I am quite sure, there are many more fears which men go through, and which do not get expressed, acknowledged or addressed.
It is a myth that men need not fear. Men are vulnerable and they have many valid fears. It’s ironical that men are suppressed since childhood so that they don’t express their fears and then the society does not feel like catering to a man’s fears.
This apathy is the root cause of crime. Men are not born criminals. Also, it’s not unmanly for a man to fear.