Do as your wife says – A Judialysis

Two weeks ago I was watching a program, on Lok Sabha TV on Gender Discourse. It was a TV Discussion on misuse of dowry laws. Save Family Foundation’s Secretary, Mr. Swarup Sarkar quoted the Chief Justice of India expressing concern over the rampantly growing misuse of dowry laws. He was countered by Supreme Court Lawyer Meenakshi Lekhi who said, “Who says judges can’t be wrong?”

When I heard this sentence, I was flabbergasted as I could not believe a Supreme Court lawyer openly criticizing the judiciary. But today I agree with Meenakshi Lekhi as I read today’s leading newspapers carrying the news that the Supreme Court of India has said, “Do as your wife says.” The news item has broken my delusion and shaken my faith on judiciary.

The article has more to it than it meets the eye as the judges Markenday Katju and Deepak Verma went on to say that, “If you want to be happy, do as your wife says even if it is does not make sense. We all do the same (hum sab bhugta bhogi hain)”. Now that’s a new one. Till now men were expected to keep their wives and in-laws happy or else the luxury of false cases was always available to the wife and her parents, but now it seems husbands have to keep their wives and in laws happy as per the whims and fancies of the wives and in-laws or face legal consequences.

This statement does not come as a surprise to me, a prominent men’s right organization’s Public Relation Officer, as I come across the abuse men face on a daily basis and am well aware of the various social and legal biases that exist against men in this otherwise so called MALE DOMINATED WORLD.

More importantly it also highlights one very important fact. And the fact is that men are not willing to protect men in this otherwise so called MALE DOMINATED WORLD. For example, take the case of these two men, Markenday Katju and Deepak Verma, in their dusky days, occupying the position of Supreme Court judges; they are well aware of the Domestic Violence that men undergo (having themselves admitted that they have experienced it), and yet they are not ready to do anything to address the issue. On the contrary, they are telling men, ‘Undergo the abuse the way we are undergoing and do not speak about it or else you will face legal consequences’.

This is a very dangerous behavioral pattern of men which is harming not only men but also women which we will see in a while. Meanwhile a pertinent question comes up that if these two judges are henpecked before their wives, do they possess the authority to dictate the same to other men, who may not be willing to do everything as per their wives? Probably not, as those men might also have some self-respect and individuality of their own.

Being non-judgmental about their wives, I will assume they are good and understanding wives, at least I hope so (having seen the disastrous lives of men with bad wives), but another pertinent question comes up here. What will a man do if his wife is just out to ruin him (for whatsoever reason, may be her greed or due to her parents undue influence and interference in the marriage) by expecting thoroughly immoral, unethical and illogical demands from the man well outside the purview of the capacity of the man to fulfill? Can they knock the doors of the court to get any relief? Probably not, for whatever messages have transpired today from the controversial statement made by Supreme Court judges, it is very evident that it has become a crime for Indian men to not only marry but also to expect any kind of justice from the courts in case their marriage is on rocks for NOT LISTENING TO THE WIFE because all the judge will say is “Listen to your wife”.

But I am wondering, have the learned Supreme Court judges even thought once before making such a controversial and far-reaching statement? Probably not, for they clearly say, ‘Listen to your wife or go to jail’. But Sir, what should a man do if his wife puts him in some of the below listed situation.

  1. Wife says, “Darling I will be happy only if when you empty the entire toothpaste from the tube on to the plate and undo the situation by putting the toothpaste back into the tube.”
  2. Wife says, “Darling if you want to see me happy, please go and throw a slipper on a judge or else I will file a false dowry case?” Now the man has to make a choice, as to whether he wants to go to jail for a false dowry case or for Contempt of Court?
  3. Wife says, “Disown your parents and become son to my parents and take care of them.”
  4. Wife says, “I am bored with you and want to have an affair, will that be OK to you?”

Have any answers, gentlemen? Probably not, for all you say is “Listen to what your wife says even if it is unreasonable.”

Now coming back to the dangerous behavioral pattern harming both men and women, referred to earlier in the article, I will NOT be talking about the abuse that every third Indian husband undergoes in the form of false cases of dowry harassment, treatment as FREE ATM MACHINE, Domestic Violence at the hands of wife and in-laws, etc., but I will instead highlight the pampering attitude of the judiciary towards wives and their refusal to protect men.

Such an attitude is a direct threat to the institution of marriage and in such a case the situation is grimmer for women rather than men because the very basis of the foundation of the social institution called marriage was to provide women a protective environment and in the wake of the institution being killed systematically, the day will not be far when women will have to stand on national highways to beg for husbands (as is also evident from the TV Program Star Vivah) and still they won’t get as they would have dug their own grave.

While a peek into history does bring up some surprises for us as it is the same judge Markenday Katju who had asked the UP Government to implement the provision for Anticipatory Bail and a direct bearing of that would have reflected on providing respite to men framed falsely in dowry harassment cases. It seems the judge is visibly upset with the Chief Justice of India for his inaction on the ongoing misuse of dowry laws.

But still, making such a controversial and irresponsible statement cannot be defended by any justification and it is a moral crime to do so. People sitting at such looked upon and responsible positions should be extremely cautious of making statements and not get carried away by personal emotions. It is very important for the social health.

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2 thoughts on “Do as your wife says – A Judialysis

  1. Virag,
    You have written very well and covered all aspects.
    The Judge should decide cases on merit and not preach. It is the job of preachers, teachers. If he wants to switchover his job , he is free to do so but not by occupying the mighty chair of a SC Judge.
    Regds.

  2. i think this judges donot daring to face the legal cosequences or they love to live in society being dominated by wife. they themselves kiiled there selfesteem. if all the wife of indian soldier called there husband back. all the sister and mother called there brother back from border. will all wife can protect the country border?
    people has the habit to remember the men when they fight with terrorist with firing Guns.Society(women and wominish mens)want to see all the mens only for protection of women. they feel that they had taken birth for the same. Become selfish , donot except the help from judiciary.

    Amit buddhiraj is my isperation!!

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