Dissatisfaction, disillusionment and fractured promises have become the buzzwords these days to reflect the state of most urban Indian nuclear families. Fingers are pointed out at the slightest provocation to highlight the differences between Expectancy and Acceptance. Two words which form the tirade of motion of nearly all troubles and stresses of modern urban uber fast life.
What we often fail to realize is the delicate balance between these two words is what determines the happiness quotient in not only our daily personal lives but also in the society at large. Gradually as we are progressing on the material front, making waves in the technological scenario, the Expectancy level is depicting an uphill trend, while the Acceptance potential has been giving in itself to gravity and taking a plunge at an alarming rate. We expect more and more and it does not stop at that, we also expect our expectations to be realized and materialized, even at the cost of others’ lives and happiness and emotions. And most of us, who, simply do not want to accept the reality, continue to live in the dreams and all our efforts are streamlined to make this dream a reality rather than letting a dream remain a dream.
The most visible relationship where this ever widening split in the “Expectancy level and Acceptance potential” has been manifesting itself and contributing drastically to the rising stress level is the matrimonial relationship. It is this relationship wherein often two individuals coming from totally different upbringings, decide to spend their lives together pledging to contribute towards each other’s emotional and material needs. It is this relationship wherein there is an urgent requirement to bridge the pre-existing gap between the “Expectancy level and Acceptance potential” with a very patient and tolerating sense of maturity and understanding. It is this relationship where there is a very large scope for the existence of Expectations from the spouse and it is this relationship where there is a very high demand for the existence of the sense and sensibilities to accept the limitations of the spouse. And it is the presence of this tension amidst the scope and demand that defines the driving force of the most interesting relationship in material world. The driving force, referred to, can either make or mar the decorum of the relationship. Where the said scope and demand dynamics work hand in hand a positive energy, a synergy, is generated which contributes in pumping lifeblood into the relationship. On the contrary, where the said scope and demand dynamics work out of sync, the relationship suffers, is either deteriorated jeopardizing the “Happiness Quotient” of family life or breaks down to a premature and unnatural death.
The only way to utilize this synergy is to maintain a healthy balance between the Expectancy and Acceptance. One needs to learn to accept before expecting. Seeing the increasing number of divorces / unhappy marriages and also respecting the fact that a great number of these are attributed to the presence of a one-sided legal laws related to marriage, open to widespread manipulation by the “protected” party, it has become an established fact that the “Expectancy level” of the modern “wife” has risen, and “Acceptance potential” has dropped to alarmingly dangerous levels. Coming future is definitely going to witness a sharp increase in such cases if nothing is going to be done to curb this menace called “Legal Terrorism” by the Honorable Supreme Court. The society needs to be educated about the “Expectancy level and Acceptance potential” syndrome. Let us spread this message to corners far and wide of the humanity ocean and be a radical catalyst responsible for bringing a change responsible for the betterment of the society.