Indiatimes bows down before feminists

On International Men’s Day (November 19), Indiatimes had run a pro-men campaign creating awareness about men’s problems in the society through a series of images. Feminists got scared that their real agenda of male hatred would get exposed and rallied against the post. The main anti-male venom was spewed by Kavita Krishnan, known for her hatred towards men. Indiatimes bowed down before the pressure and took the post down, apologizing to the feminists.

Now, decide, if its really a male dominated world where men can’t even speak up and need to be apologetic for getting victimized.

However, here are the pictures for everyone to see. Decide for yourself.

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All that you needed to know about Prostate Cancer in Men


I am here to speak with 40 years old men but the healthcare enlightenment is for everyone.

There is no woman who does not know a man 40 years and above – father, uncle, brother, son, friend, neighbor, colleague….

Essentially what I will be doing today is health promotion. Responsible health promotion must provide three things:
3.A plan of action.

Let me start with a background on prostate health.

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Desire of sex: Physical gratification or psychological stimulation

Source: Desire of sex: Physical gratification or psychological stimulation

There was slightest inkling of a casual coffee conversation leading to so deep a revelation into human psyches but as they say, “Truth is stranger than fiction”, this story was also waiting to unfold.

I was sitting with a friend over a cup of coffee and he was sharing about the stress he was going through as his marriage was not working and he also feared some false cases of dowry harassment/domestic violence would get filed on him so that his wife could get easy money and quick divorce by conveniently shifting the entire blame to husband.

Since, he didn’t have enough money to spare with, he knew he had to fight the case and it would be a long battle too. As he was sharing his thoughts and feelings, he just said, “But, what about my physical needs?”

The words struck me like a thunderbolt and I asked myself, “Are the needs really physical in true sense?”

I started thinking more about the topic and a lot of unanswered questions popped up in my mind in a flash of a second,

  1. Who needs sex – the body or the mind?
  2. Sex is stimulated by the body or by the mind?
  3. The most typical conservative Indian does not have sex before marriage, so typically it’s after 25 or 28 years of age. What happens to the physical needs before that?
  4. Even if we take the case of a liberal Indian who would have sex before marriage around the age of 16 or 18 then also what happens to the physical needs before that?
  5. There are other physical needs also like thirst, hunger, sleep, fitness, etc. which are less talked about but this one. Why so?

These and many other questions kept pestering my mind until I realized that “desire of sex” is not a physical gratification, its psychological stimulation.

It’s a need of the mind and not of the body. Bodily needs like hunger, thirst, sleep, etc. cannot be compensated or made to wait; they need to be gratified at the earliest possible. However, there are many people who find alternatives to channelize their sex drives; which tells us, that it is a matter of tuning the mind and not the body. The body just follows the mental state.

This is also the reason that most men, who go for paid sex, either do not enjoy it or get addicted to it, because they fail to realize it’s not a demand of the body, it’s a demand of the mind.

By proper channelization of emotions, and involving self in self-gratifying activities, the mind can actually achieve the same stimulus as having sex and thus, the need for sex for compensated if it is not available readily or steadily, but the same does not apply to other bodily needs like hunger, thirst, sleep etc. If you are hungry, you need to have food, if you are thirsty, you need water, if you are feeling sleepy, you need to get some sleep. However, the same does not hold good for sex.

There are many people who have successfully channelized their sex drives into something more productive.

This revelation is particularly important for single men or separated men. Both these categories of men, often fail to understand that it’s not a physical need and in that process either end up marrying or running behind divorce (even by paying a huge cost) to get remarried as they think, marriage is safe sex.

This revelation is particularly important for men as society puts a lot of restriction on sexual desires of men while rewards the sexual instincts of women.

Hence, it’s not uncommon to see people talking about compensating a woman who opts to move out of a relationship, be it marriage or otherwise while, at the same time, penalizing the man for the same. Most men think, it’s OK to punish men when they opt out of a relationship and in that process; they actually ruin the life of a man because he followed his sexual instincts.

So, while we talk of gender equality, this inequality gets conveniently ignored and the society does not feel the need of addressing it as well. As a result, men suffer.

However, the solution to this problem also lies with men. Men must not hate other men over sexual desires. Especially the powerful alpha men, who run the show, need to discourage practices and laws that punish a powerless beta man for following his sexual instincts be it marriage or otherwise.

The desire for sex is a not a physical requirement and men don’t need to compromise their lives and lifestyle for gratifying the same. It can be tuned psychologically if sex is so costly and dangerous for men.

Gynocentrism in Men’s Rights Movement – Blessing in disguise or unwarranted hurdle?

Source: Gynocentrism in Men’s Rights Movement – Blessing in disguise or unwarranted hurdle?

Sensationalism always works as it tends to garner a lot of curiosity and eyeballs, which in turn allow a message to propagate far and wide.

In a world otherwise grappled with the thoughts of male-chauvinism and privileges of being a male, a movement that talked about the issues faced by men and the need for their rights was sensational in itself.

This sensationalism took the men’s rights movement in India to a much elevated platform wherein, within a very short span of time, the men’s rights activists were able to sensitize the Indian parliament about some of the issues that face men and get them thinking about those issues.

At the same time, a parallel development was taking place. Many women, who were at the receiving end of feminism and Gynocentrism in the society, resorted to men’s rights movement. They took up the cause and started talking about men and their issues.

And, this gave rise to a new phenomenon which even the mainstream media showed more keenness to highlight and that phenomena was – “Women in Men’s Rights Movement” or let us call it “Women in MRM!” for the sake of brevity.

Many a times, we are approached by journalists who want to talk about this particular aspect – “Women in MRM!”

For sure, it gives impetus to the movement as the talk goes around but what are the hidden messages carried by this phrase?

Some of the key messages that get delivered are,

  1. Women should not be talking about men’s issues, only men should be doing so. But then, when was the last time this question asked to those millions of men who supported and propagated feminism? Did anyone ask, what are men doing in a women’s movement? Rather, it was made incumbent upon every man to join the women’s rights movement.
  2. The men’s rights movement has been established around the cornerstone of the need of a communication channel for victimized, distressed, bereaved and harassed men and if such a platform gets impetus because women are talking about it, then we are defeating the very purpose of the movement itself.
  3. As a matter of fact, there are not even handfuls, rather very few women who are talking about men’s issues and they are the ones garnering limelight. It is a disservice to the efforts of hundreds of other hardworking and diligent men who are working tirelessly and effortlessly to spread the cause of men’s issues.
  4. If we are creating an atmosphere wherein only sensationalism rakes the sensitivities of a civil society then why should we blame the media that thrives of sensationalism, because if they are the virus of sensationalism in the society, the society itself is the host breeding and feeding the virus of sensationalism and since “Women in MRM!” is sensationalism within sensationalism, it catches the eyeballs.
  5. Most men have given up on women and when they find one or two or maybe three women talking about men’s issues, they all gather around those women as it fits their definition of being a woman.

“Women in MRM!” is a blessing in disguise or an unwarranted hurdle?

One can argue that since by talking about “Women in MRM!” and women talking about MRM, MRM gets impetus, why not live with it?

Before we fall for the temptation, it needs to be realized that,

  1. “Women in MRM!” is a choice by those women which can be respected as an individual choice but it cannot become the flagship point of a movement being propagated.
  2. It creates opportunities of attention garnering for women and no sooner MRM will get corrupted with this practice of giving special attention and status to women. In fact, it has already started happening. There are many men who are giving far more attention to the “Women in MRM!” rather than actual issues.
  3. It also needs to be understood that the gender boundaries are slippery slopes and caution needs to be exercised while we emphasize “Women in MRM!”
  4. Many times, the same message, when delivered by a woman, gets actually delivered and that tells us that MRM is feminized, which is a cause of worry.
  5. It breeds Gynocentrism in MRM and incites competition amongst men to keep “Women in MRM!” happy – the root cause of abuse of men and that defeats the very purpose of the movement – liberation of men from Gynocentrism.

Therefore, this Gynocentrism in men’s rights movement needs to stop as it is not a blessing in disguise; it’s rather an unwarranted hurdle.

And before we end it, it’s important to understand that it’s not the Women in the MRM who are responsible for “Women in MRM!” but it’s the men in the movement and the men in the society who are responsible for it. They want a feminine certification for everything and this is something men need to introspect themselves and overcome the need for feminine certification.

If we cannot reform ourselves, we should stop thinking about reforming the society.