That, marriage has become tumultuous, for Indian men, is no longer a hidden fact as evident from the huge media coverage given to men’s rights activists recently. And the myth about marriage, as projected in Indian context – “Blissful for men and torturous for women” – is coming to its logical end with the rise of men’s rights organizations like the Save Indian Family Foundation, the All India Men’s Welfare Association, etc.

A lot of false propaganda had been done by radical gender based extremists about women facing problems in marriage to the tune that unconstitutional and anti-male laws have been framed to finish off men systematically. And because male-disposability comes natural to the society these whimsical stories about men as oppressors and women as oppressed were never challenged.

This led to severe problems of men and they were under-reported as well because the society was not ready to accept men as weak otherwise who would risk their lives to protect the society. Every man on earth has faced this bias at some point of his life and he is trained to accept it as a way of life.

As a result male suicides increased a lot and at the same time the society holding men responsible for everything increased their expectations from them. One of the worst expectations was the PRIMARY FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY the severity of which often goes under-reported. Men think it’s their duty and tolerate the abuse therein. And divorce proceedings are the worse that a man has to go through in India.

In addition to facing the mental stress, a man has to fight several false cases in multiple jurisdictions, pay maintenance and alimony to estranged wives who leave no stone unturned in ruining the reputation of the man by spreading false rumors about him. And the most unnoticed abuse of men is the financial abuse wherein invariably men are forced to pay hefty alimonies irrespective of wife’s fault.

But one such man has turned the tables. It’s Kalaisevan from Chennai who has sought 25 Lakhs in alimony from his well-settled wife because he lost all his fortunes due to the false cases she filed on him. Read the news here.

This is path breaker news as it is the first step towards breaking the myth that under all circumstances, ubiquitously and stereotypically men have to shell out aristocratic alimonies to their estranged wives irrespective of the man’s sufficient means and the woman’s earning potential. Kalai has taken an exemplary and revolutionary step to show the world how to demand your right as a man.

If many other men start following suit shunning inhibitions of being a male then the movement of men’s rights has no impedance. However, most men do not do it because they are Stolid; whereas even if they have not contributed anything to the marriage, women feel no qualms in demanding a fortune from the man because women are Sordid.

And currently marriage between this set of Stolid Men and Sordid Women has become like a necessary evil for men. Because the current socio-financial structures are so placed that a man without marriage is not considered complete. Young men are thrown into marriage otherwise they are denied a dignified social life unless they are extremely high achievers like Abdul Kalam Azad or Atal Behari Vajpayee.

That means that an ordinary man has to marry and has to bow down before his wife (courtesy Supreme Court judge Markenday Katju) or else face a social death. Most of the banks, financial institutions, and insurance companies force men to make their wives as beneficiaries. This is imposition on men. When the society does not protect and respect the basic rights of a man, it has no right or Locus Standi whatsoever to impose things on a man as well.

Non-funded men’s helplines like the Save Indian Family Foundation and the All India Men’s Welfare Association receive about 10,000 calls a month from distressed men most of whom who contemplate suicidal tendencies.

So in a nutshell, if a man does not marry or remains separated / divorced he faces a social death and in marriage he has no protection and is expected to tolerate a tumultuous marriage or else face legal wrath. All in all, men need to be liberated from this cobweb of imposed responsibilities and constant struggle to survive.

And the only way to this liberation is to close down the institution of marriage and this has to be done by men only. As long as marriage – in its current form – exists there is no respite in sight for men. Choice lies with men.

With Kalai’s bold step of asking alimony from wife for ruining his life, he has molten the tip of the iceberg, with men deciding not to marry the iceberg will melt.

Bengaluru, Nov. 20: When a city police inspector claims that he was in two different places at a given time on the same day, something seems to have gone terribly wrong.

The officer is A. Manjunath, currently serving as police inspector with city special branch. He was inspector at Yeshwanthpur police station when the incident happened in 2007.

According to the station diary, Manjunath was at the station and with an accused, writing a panchnama at the same time. On another day, he claims he was busy recording the statement of five witnesses, while his official papers say he was on leave, sanctioned by none other than his DGP!

The police also seems to have duped the court by submitting a dead man’s witness statement, which made the court even issue summons asking the deceased to be present for the hearing.

Mr R. Kumar (name changed) was accused of dowry harassment by his wife who visited the station on July 26, 2007. “She filed a complaint at 1.45 pm. Inspector Manjunath claims he visited my residence between 2 pm and four pm on the same day for panchanama. But his station diary shows he was present in the station till 4 pm”, claimed Kumar.

Again, Manjunath claims that he recorded the statements of five witnesses on July 30, 2007 including one of a doctor. “But his office files say he was in Mysore after getting two days’ leave, sanctioned by his DGP,” said Kumar.

More intriguing is the fact that one of the witnesses had died the previous day on July 29, after he spent more than 10 hours in coma. So how did the inspector took his statement?

According to R. Kumar, the trouble begun soon after his wife filed the dowry harassment complaint. “Just one month after our marriage, I realised that my wife was suffering from a sexually transmitted disease. On questioning her, she admitted to a premarital affair with another man” he said.

Later, she returned to her parents after a gynaecologist advised her treatment. “We mutually decided to go for a divorce and approached the family court in 2005. But I was shocked when she filed a dowry harassment complaint against me” said 32-year-old Kumar, a private company employee.

He also alleged that Manjunath not only detained him illegally for a day, but pestered him to shell out money to ‘settle the issue’.

“Dejected over the false allegations, my 62-year-old father attempted suicide by consuming poison. Instead of showing some mercy, the Yeshwanthapur police even threatened to arrest me”, says Kumar, who later approached Lokayukta with all the documents, which he obtained with the help of RTI. According to Kumar, Lokayukta asked the police officer about obtaining a dead man’s statement on which Manjunath claimed he took his statement on July 29, 2007, hours before he died. “Again his office records say he was on bundobust duty following a strike by KSRTC employees” said Kumar.

The investigating police officials have erred right from the FIR to the witness statement” claimed Kumar.

When contacted, Manjunath said the confusion over the date was because of a technical and manual error. “The computer operator wrongly entered the date as July 30 instead of July 29. In a hurry, I signed a letter dated July 30,” he said. He however refused to comment further on the issue.

By: With Alisha Coelho, Kranti Vibhute and Urvashi Seth

‘Harassed’ by female colleagues, MiD DAY reporter Varun Singh finds nobody is willing to help a man in distress. P.S. it’s International men’s day

When a woman complains to a bystander that she has been molested or someone is following her, the guy is at the receiving end of abuse or a few punches, knocking the air from his lusty sails.

On International Men’s Day, today, we witnessed that the same treatment is not meted out to men who are harassed.

Bachao! Urvashi, Alisha and Kranti pretend to harass Varun, but none of these men came to his aid.

We got MiD DAY female reporters to harass Varun Singh in full view of passersby yesterday. Not a single person, including cops, came to his aid.

Bus Karo

Mahalaxmi bus stop

I walked towards the bus stop with my supposed trio of tormentors following me at a distance.

Two men who were chatting with each other at the bus stop stopped mid conversation and looked on interestedly as the girls and I staged a ‘fight’.

Hey, Handsome! The girls, Alisha, Urvashi and Kranti, harass Varun at a bus stop in Mahalaxmi. The men look on passively.

One of the girls asked me my name and even started pulling my bag.

I asked the men for help, but they looked on in stony silence.

I kept requesting the men to help me out but they watched me like they were watching a film. When I kept prodding, one of them said, “What can we do? We can’t help you out!”

Chowky jao, band bajao

Haji Ali junction

I approached a traffic police officer, who was already stressed with the heavy traffic on the junction.

I told him the three women (pointing to my colleagues) have been following me since Mahalaxmi and were passing lewd comments.

Get Those Girls: Varun Singh asks this traffic cop to help him, as the girls were following him and passing lewd comments.

The traffic cop responded saying, “I cannot help you. Please go to the police chowky.”

So I told him that the girls were right here and so he should act immediately, but the police officer insisted I go to the chowky and even gave me a piece of advice.

“Arre, go to the chowky and these girls will follow you there.”

Legal blocks

Esplanade court

I went to the Esplanade  court in the afternoon and approached a lawyer, and told him I have to register a complaint.

The lawyer said  he would help and told  me to tell him my story. I said that three girls were teasing me and no one helped out.

The change was dramatic. He said he couldn’t help me and I would have to “get a complaint registered with the police at Haji Ali.”

Help Me, Please: Varun Singh approaches a lawyer at Esplanade court.

I reminded him that he had mentioned that it was not important to register a complaint at Haji Ali, but the lawyer seemed to have a sudden and convenient attack of amnesia.

I asked him how could I find him again (after filing my complaint at the police station). He said, “I am always here. I will be standing here.”

However, he refused to give me his number. I asked for his name and he said, “I am Swami, ask anyone about me,” and vanished in a flash of black and white.

Men’s Day

International Men’s Day is celebrated on November 19 every year.

It started in 1999 in Trinidad and Tobago and was supported by the United Nations and received in principal, support from men’s groups in USA, Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Caribbean.

Case Study

Savio D’souza, a victim of wife harassment, approached the law for help, but came away disappointed. He said, “My wife got a divorce in the church. She used to come home drunk at 3 am and beat me.

We have separated, but she’s staying in my house and I had to stay on the streets for nearly 18 months.”

Today, Savio and nearly 500 such men will march to Matralaya from Mulund, to protest the law which doesn’t give any relief to a man who is harassed by his wife or a women.

The march will comprise members of Protect Indian Family Foundation, Save Indian Family and Child Welfare Family Foundation, all of whom work for protecting the rights of men.

The men are protesting against 498 A (dowry harassment). They will submit a letter to the home ministry asking for an amendment in the law to protect men.

Written by P K Surendran

The “dominant sex”— male — is not so dominant after all. Forming solidarity on the eve of International Men’s Day (IMD) on Thursday, pro-men activists in Bangalore are set to launch an All India Men’s Welfare Association and demand creation of a Men’s Welfare Ministry, among other things.

The Association has drafted a charter that asks for a holiday on IMD, paternity leave, and a study on the treatment men get in different spheres of socio-economic life. The Association has asked all male employees in Bangalore to take mass leave on Thursday and “declare their independence and celebrate their freedom”.

“Man is depicted as a fiend who is out to exploit women. It’s reflected in the societal attitude, right from the mother’s lap and lasts till the grave,” bemoans Virag Dhulia, a researcher for the Save Indian Family Foundation that was formed a few years ago to provide legal succour to men fighting marital cases.

Virag is rich in details and ladles out examples where men are silent sufferers: “First, discrimination comes in the form of false image of dominance: man should not cry, he should shoulder responsibility for the welfare of women, he must do all risky tasks. Giving them false values are the scriptures that put man at a psychological disadvantage. In society, right from the elementary schools to the judiciary, he is suspect till he proves himself otherwise.”

“The government even has an Animal Welfare Board but the sex that gives 82 per cent tax revenue and does all the unpleasant and hazardous jobs, the fruit of which is mainly enjoyed by women, have no place in India’s scheme of things,” regrets the new body’s website aimwa.info launched on Monday. “Men,” it exhorts, “let’s unite and fight societal attitude, not women.”

“No, we are not against women. We’re for gender parity,” clarifies Vivek Deveshwar, another activist in the forefront. “Men face humiliation in every step. For instance, government gives great importance to breast cancer and blood cancer in women, but hardly anything on prostrate cancer, a disease men are prone to. In advertisements and cartoons, a male is portrayed as stupid, while women are witty and smart.”

Mithun Kumar, one of the leaders, told DNA, “In every step, a man suffers ignominy. To take the latest example, look at how the media treated the case of a woman who barged into the marriage hall. The man had no voice, nobody believed him or asked for his view.” Kumar says even the World Economic Forum keeps harping on the dwindling population of girls without any valid study.

“It’s unfortunately true that men are becoming victims of ‘legal terrorism’ unleashed through laws like Indian Penal Code Section 498A, Protection of Women Against Domestic Violence Act, adultery laws and many other laws, all loaded against men,” says veteran lawyer of many fights, MG Kumar.

November 19, 1999 marked a serious steer in the HISTORY and FUTURE of the world for ever. For the first time ever someone thought about the “Invisibly Abandoned Diaspora” aka the men of the world and marked November 19^th as the INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY and later on the concept was picked up by many countries including India.

Save Indian Family Foundation and its allied NGOs observed International Men’s Day in 2007 and 2008 by conducting bike rallies and other awareness events. This year, the Bangalore Chapter of the All India Men’s Welfare Association is being launched on 18^th November, a day prior to November 19^th, the International Men’s Day.

Before talking of what International Men’s Day is and why we should celebrate it, let’s look at some obviously invisible facts of the society,

1. The security person who guards your apartments and office complexes is a MAN.
2. The person who delivers milk every morning to your house is a MAN.
3. The person who wakes up early morning (irrespective of weather conditions) and delivers newspapers to your house so that you are abreast of the latest happenings is a MAN.
4. The person who drives your children to the school in the school bus so that they get access to a better future is a MAN.
5. 98% of the workforce that guards our national and international borders so that we can live a peaceful life – risking their own lives – is a MAN.
6. The person who risks his life climbing to the top of the building you live in, to repair the leaking pipes and faulty electric connections is a MAN.

These are some of the roles that men in the society have been donning for centuries and without whose contributions, the society would have turned into a chaotic mess. These are some of the most unwanted and risky jobs that naturally and by default get ascribed to men only to the point that we have terms dedicated to them – the milkman, the watchman, the lineman, etc.

The language that we speak creates a reality for us. The object that is a table for us may be just an obstacle to a small baby of 6 months who is struggling to crawl, but because we have associated a name – THE TABLE – with it, it creates a reality of using it as a table; whereas for the baby, oblivious of the language, it’s just coming in its way while it is trying to access the toy that is attracting it.

Similarly in our language when we ascribe these difficult and risky jobs to men by default by associating names with their professions embedding the gender into it, we create a reality that, “this job is a MAN’s job and he HAS to do it” whether he likes it or not. And in turn, we forget his contribution, his sacrifice and he becomes an unsung martyr. For centuries and centuries, men have donned these difficult roles and have remained UNSUNG HEROES and in turn all they get back is MALE HATRED from the society let alone recognizing these countless contributions that men have made to the society.

And this MALE HATRED is so deep and embedded in our psyches that we do not even perceive that,

1. Men have shorter life expectancy.
2. Men undertake the most risky and laborious jobs.
3. Men have only RESPONSIBILITIES and no RIGHTS from the society.
4. Men have a volley of ANTI-MALE and GENDER OBSESSED laws to deal with and live under a constant fear of being implicated into one.
5. Men have to live a life of COMPETITION by IMPULSION.
6. Men are emotionally castrated right from the tender age of 6 and are left emotionally deformed and mutilated which makes emotional confrontations extremely painful for men.
7. Men are being denied their basic survival rights.
8. Men are being FORCED TO DOMINATE the WORLD.

I would like to elaborate a bit on the last point here. Before that, let us try to understand what actually domination is all about. Domination is, as it is perceived, not about exercising control and oppressing. Domination is a feeling that is natural and existent in every human being – whether male, female, transgender or a eunuch – but at the same time no one wants to be painted (read tainted) as a DOMINATOR as mirrored in the saying – “Everybody wants to go to Heaven but nobody wants to die”.

What we often miss in perceiving is that Domination comes with its own costs of RESPONSIBILITY and ACCOUNTABILITY because the visibly dominating person is the one who is expected to resolve crisis and take a just decision and this is a huge responsibility along with the hidden accountability.

From the seven points above sans the last point, it is very clear that MALE DISPOSABILITY comes natural to the society and because of this male disposability syndrome, the difficult role of domination (involving hidden responsibility and accountability) has been thrust onto men whether they ever wanted it or not. And that is why I say, “Males are being forced to dominate”

As if that wasn’t enough, after being forced to dominate (of which the men were unaware), men were denied basic survival rights with the argument that it is a MALE DOMINATED SOCIETY. This is nothing but double jeopardy and cheating with men. First, a role that is demeaning (that of a dominator which everyone wants to avoid) is thrust onto them and then under that pretext their basic survival rights are infringed into and their basic humane expectations are tainted with the bad name of “Chauvinism”.

And because of this, I bow down today (on the pretext of International Men’s Day) before all the men (including myself) for surviving in a society filled with MALE HATRED.

As a man it is not acceptable to me that I am supposed to PROTECT and PROVIDE for the same society that hates me merely because I am a MAN.

This deeply embedded male hatred is the root cause of men’s problems, their ignorance and the neglect of their contributions. International Men’s Day is being observed in about 10 countries and more are joining in to,

1. Pay a tribute to Men’s Contributions,
2. Honor their Sacrifices and
3. Recognize and acknowledge their Problems.

November 19 is one day when men can talk freely not only about their issues and grievances but also “Celebrate being Male”.

This is a day when not only all men should take leave from their work and spend a day doing what THEY want to (rather than doing what OTHERS want them to do), but this day should also be declared as a HOLIDAY.

See the video below, this is a just a tip of the iceberg of the issues faced by men. However, International Men’s Day is not only about problems of men. It is about recognizing men for what they and not for the crap spread about them by male haters aka the feminists who have succeeded in shielding all men’s virtues with their bogus rhetoric false statistics.

November 19th has been celebrated as International Men’s Day since 1999 started in Trinidad and Tobago and is slowly being picked up by many countries including India. This year the Bangalore chapter of the All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) is being launched. AIMWA was launched in Hyderabad as an initiative.

See the video below:-

PRESS RELEASE

Sub: Launching the Bangalore Chapter of the All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA)

About AIMWA:

All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) was launched in Hyderabad on the 11^th October 2009 to work in the area of elimination of all kinds of discrimination against boys and men. Today, this press conference is being conducted to launch the Bangalore Chapter of the same.

Why Men’s Welfare:

Ask someone about the problems of women and a list would emerge that would never seem to end. Ask about men’s problems and all one sees is blank faces. Does that mean that men do not have any problems? Or is it that there is no awareness for the same, as mirrored in the statement – “Absence of evidence is not an evidence of absence.”?

1. If we look back, in the last 62 years of Indian Independence not a single rupee has ever been allocated for men’s welfare from the Union Budget.
2. Not a single constitutional or quasi-constitutional body ever been formed to study men’s issues.
3. Not a single study otherwise also ever been conducted targeted to study men’s issues.
4. Not a single scheme ever been envisaged for men’s welfare.

Hence, in the backdrop of this emptiness, the Government and the society have absolutely no Locus-Standi to deny accepting men’s issues or avoid addressing them. And it is this emptiness which has led to the formation of AIMWA, to study men’s issues and demand for a National Commission for Men and Men’s Welfare Ministry.

Men and their identity:

Today, expectations from men have skyrocketed and acceptance levels for them have nosedived. In fact, there is no limitation to expectations from men and no acceptance of their limitations.

Today men are expected to,

1. Take care of extended families of parents, siblings, wife, in-laws and provide for them,
2. Take huge financial burdens and risks by undertaking various kinds of loans like home loan, car loan, education loan for siblings to name a few.
3. Undertake the primary financial responsibility of the house even if the wife is well-qualified, well-earning and capable to share the financial load.
4. Sponsor the education of young in-laws and their expensive visas and foreign degrees.
5. Bow down before their wives or face Legal Terrorism viz. misuse of Section 498A and Domestic Violence Act.
6. Act as FREE ATM MACHINES and SPERM DONORS.

And not only for the above, men have been expected to undertake the most risky and laborious jobs since time immemorial and also have been expected to be the de-facto PROTECTOR as well. It is not unusual to expect a 10 years old male child to escort and protect 30 years old able-bodied female aunty and it is also not unusual to expect a young boy to take charge when some monkey enters a household in rural areas.

However, at the same time, the de-facto protector is left unprotected with no protection available to him. Additionally, men are emotionally castrated right from the age of 6 as they are discouraged from expressing their pains and feelings. Dialogues like, “Do not cry like a girl”, “Be a man” are quite normal for the society to a 6 year old boy whose psyche and identity is just evolving. And the impact of these statements is so deep that the boy develops a fear of self-expression and remains numb to abuse the rest of his life.

As a result, men are finding emotional confrontations extremely painful when they grow up and most men contemplate suicidal tendencies during emotional turmoil in their relationship and a reasonable percentage of them actually commit suicide. The same is corroborated by suicide statistics,

1. 2005: 52583 married men committed suicide vis-à-vis 28188 married women.
2. 2006: 55452 married men committed suicide vis-à-vis 29869 married women.
3. 2007: 57593 married men committed suicide vis-à-vis 30064 married women.

Other than these, men face domestic violence from their wives and in-laws in the form of physical, emotional, mental, verbal and economic abuse. Added to this neither the society (including psychologists and marriage counselors) provides these men with any communication channel nor does the Government offer any legal relief.

Some other forms of harassment and discrimination faced by men,

1. Men pay more taxes than women at the same salary level.
2. Men are provided no protection against sexual harassment at workplace and against rape.
3. Men do not have the choice of being a domestic engineer, social engineer or into creative paths. Irrespective of his likes and willingness a man is forced to don the role of the breadwinner for the family or else face a social death.
4. Men are not accepted by the society the way they are; as human beings.
5. Men are not provided with a communication channel – a channel that listens to them without invalidating their feelings or justifying their problems.
6. No schemes are being furthered either by the Government or eminent social celebrities for boys the way they are happening for girls. This has led to more boys dropping out of school as per various media reports. Ultimately the boys are left under-trained to satiate the expectations as they grow up to be men and are developing resenting feelings towards the society which is leading to a lot of socio-legal problems.
7. There is no concept of MEN’s RIGHTS, only RESPONSIBILITIES and DUTIES are there in store for them.

National Commission for Women – The Enemy in the veil:

1. Very recently, in the case of alleged complaint of sexual harassment by an airhostess of Air India, it was clearly observed that the air-hostess had violated the rules of Air India and entered the cockpit when she was not supposed to and later on, she filed a false complaint of sexual harassment against the innocent pilots. Though innocent, the pilots were forced to take a bail, following an arrest, due to adverse media hype given to the case and unethical handling of the issue by the National Commission for Women (NCW) – the hotbed of male hatred.

1. Also, on the 12^th of October 2009, the NCW proposed radical and vicious recommendations in Section 125 CrPC (maintenance for wife, children and parents) asking for “maintenance to adulterous wives” and forcing man to pay maintenance “irrespective of his sufficient means”.
2. Despite the fact that in rape and dowry cases, the testimony of the complainant is given a very high priority the NCW demands for death penalty in the two cases. On the other hand, at the same time the NCW is not ready to address the issue of Domestic Violence faced by unmarried daughters from their parents and by elderly mothers-in-law from their daughters-in-law.

It is very clear that under the barb and paradoxical veil of “Women Empowerment”, the NCW is perpetrating male-hatred and is working like a “National Commission against Men” instead of “National Commission for Women”.

On the occasion of 19^th November the INTERNATIONAL MEN’s DAY AIMWA places the following of its demands from the Government and the society:

1. Form National Commission for Men to study issues of men and provide the Government with recommendations for Men’s welfare.
2. Institute Men’s Welfare Ministry that will implement the recommendations of the National Commission for Men on behalf of the Government.
3. Abolish all anti-male gender biased laws.
4. Close down the National Commission for Women.
5. Rationalize the tax provisions to make them gender neutral.
6. Form welfare schemes for boys and girls unilaterally.
7. Form an ombudsman to regulate the anti-male quotient in media, television and films.
8. Allow single adult men to adopt children before the age of 30.
9. Do not force men to don the role of the breadwinner against their wish and give them a choice about their life.

10.  Address health issues of men like prostate cancer, short life expectancy, high suicide rates, etc with seriousness.

11.  Government should urge the private sector to come up with Health Products specifically targeted to diseases affecting men in large numbers.

12.  The World Economic Forum should start recognizing men as human beings as well as study and publish Gender Index of Men besides that for women alone.

AIMWA aims to work for men’s welfare and urge the Government and the society to take serious note of the problems of men.

Thanks and Regards

All India Men’s Welfare Association, Bangalore

Dowry law is being heavily misused

Now battered men have HRIDAYA to their relief