06.30.08

Open letter to the officials of UN, UNIFEM and UNICEF

Posted in Men, Women, dowry, legal extortion, legal terrorism, marriage, society tagged , , , , , , , , at 9:58 pm by legalfighter

We members of “Save Indian Family Foundation” comprise of 15,000 Engineers, Software professionals, Executives, doctors and common people of India, who are fed up with UN’s Anti-Indian Agenda since quite some time. We firmly believe that UN is interested in breaking the Indian family system and the Indian society. If UN or its other organizations do not stop their anti-India activities and do not stop their malicious propaganda against India, we will start large scale protests against UN all over India. We are certain it will not help UN as Indian’s love their family system and they will not love any agency which promotes family breaking. India has 1/6th of World’s population.

Firstly, we do not understand why UN works like a dictator and why the people running it have such a terrible problem with “Integrity”.

We feel, it is important UN and its Secretary General wake up to face some constructive criticism and cleans up the “Integrity Issues”.

UN has a lot of explaining to do as it seems to have come out with an agenda against “Family System” in India due to lobbying by some western countries.

We will show how actions of UN, UNICEF and UNDP are actually contributing the “Female Foeticide” in India instead of reducing it.

1) In 2006, UN claimed in Indian Media that 70% of Indian Women Face domestic Violence (DV) UN, UNDP or UNFPA never conducted any study or survey which has established this fact or proved this statistics. In fact, one page in UNFPA website says, the domestic violence percentage in India (against women) is just 19%.

It clearly shows that UN and its officials lack Integrity and have lied in Indian Media.

How the hell are such horrendous lies propagated about India by UN officials?

Refer to this false story planted by the UN.

Here is the complete argument:

Certain Radical Western elements are controlling the policies in UN and they have a “racial bias” against Asians and especially Indians.

2) In 2006, UNICEF executive director Ann M. Veneman made false claims.

She claimed that 25,000 women are killed “every year” for dowry in India. Here is the proof.

There is no source of any kind which has established this fact that 25000 numbers of women are killed for dowry. In fact, the total “convictions” for “dowry deaths + DV deaths” in year 2006 is 1830 (refer: Indian National Crime Records Bureau at website ncrb.nic.in).

These deaths in India are almost half of similar deaths in US (if you normalize populations of both countries).Why did she lie and why did she quoted false statistics?

Why is the UNICEF executive director creating a panic by uttering lies?

I do not like to make any personal criticisms. However, people holding the high positions should have some elementary levels of Integrity.

If UN says that 25,000 women are killed for dowry every year in India, then no one will wish to have a girl in their house, as they think the girl will only be a victim, a burden and she will bring tears. The reality is, women are 2 times safer in Indian homes than in US homes. Thanks to UN and UNICEF, the panic is created in Indian society and Indian Family system is maligned all over the world. The Indians today are afraid of having a girl child.

We challenge UN officials to come and prove their assertions on dowry deaths in India.

3) The outrageous, false propaganda unleashed by UN (and the organisations it funds) about 70% women being beaten, kicked, hit, slapped and burnt for dowry, has created massive panic in India.

UN is a very credible source and hence everyone believes it. Media writes about it. So, Indians today believe that if they have a daughter (born into the family), then 70% chance that she will be burnt, beaten, raped, hit, slapped.

These lies by UN officials is creating huge problem for our society and people are rushing to clinics to abort the girl child.

4) A boy in India brings 3 times more misery to parents than the girls. A boy has 3 times more chance of getting kidnapped. A man has 3 times more chance to get murdered, commit suicide or die in an accident compared to a woman. However, UN never talks about the disadvantages that boys bring and only harps of why it is dangerous to be a woman or girl in India.

5) Increasing divorces, family breaking and single parenting has resulted in increase in crimes in US. However, UN conveniently ignores these social issues. Children from single parent families in US have 9 times more chance to commit crime.

Why are UN policies so reductionist while dealing with complex social systems?

Why is UN not even ready to discuss?

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Social situations are complex. Societies across the world are complex. How can UN recommend some very “simple reductionist solutions” for the complex problems related to family system and sometimes force it on nations?

Common sense says, the more you focus on a problem/concern, the problem or concern increases. Is UN feeding energy to concerns or working on influences?

By focusing on women’s issues in a radical manner and by representing them as victims by using false statistics for years, is UN solving the problems or increasing the intensity of the problems?

If UN do not stop the anti-Indian, anti-social activities by planting false statistics in Media, we as an advocacy group of 15,000 members in India and world, will start street protests against UN’s ill designed insensitive policies. It is 15,000 angry Indian families, who see UN as an organisation that has propagated false stories and rumours about India, Indian society and Indian Family system.

If UN is so sincere about the plight of women in South Asian, then what the hell UN is doing about 1,20,645 women who are arrested in India in last 4 years without trial or investigation under section 498a of Indian penal code(IPC). In fact, UNIFEM supports Section 498a of IPC.

We support 50% reservation for women in Indian parliament. We are not a bunch of conservative regressive religious zealots.

We are not begging UN to change or stop propagating false stories about societies in member nations.

UN, UNICEF, UNDP, UNFPA and every official has the choice. The officials there can keep continuing with the lies, false statistics and claim that they are making a difference in the world.

We have no expectations what so ever from UN or UNDP or UNICEF. We will do our work to safe guard our nation and other Asian Nations. However, we will hold every person who works for UN accountable for the consequences of the misadventures.

Expectancy vs. Acceptance

Posted in dowry tagged , , , , , , , , , at 7:28 pm by legalfighter

Dissatisfaction, disillusionment and fractured promises have become the buzzwords these days to reflect the state of most urban Indian nuclear families. Fingers are pointed out at the slightest provocation to highlight the differences between Expectancy and Acceptance. Two words which form the tirade of motion of nearly all troubles and stresses of modern urban uber fast life.

What we often fail to realize is the delicate balance between these two words is what determines the happiness quotient in not only our daily personal lives but also in the society at large. Gradually as we are progressing on the material front, making waves in the technological scenario, the Expectancy level is depicting an uphill trend, while the Acceptance potential has been giving in itself to gravity and taking a plunge at an alarming rate. We expect more and more and it does not stop at that, we also expect our expectations to be realized and materialized, even at the cost of others’ lives and happiness and emotions. And most of us, who, simply do not want to accept the reality, continue to live in the dreams and all our efforts are streamlined to make this dream a reality rather than letting a dream remain a dream.

The most visible relationship where this ever widening split in the “Expectancy level and Acceptance potential” has been manifesting itself and contributing drastically to the rising stress level is the matrimonial relationship. It is this relationship wherein often two individuals coming from totally different upbringings, decide to spend their lives together pledging to contribute towards each other’s emotional and material needs. It is this relationship wherein there is an urgent requirement to bridge the pre-existing gap between the “Expectancy level and Acceptance potential” with a very patient and tolerating sense of maturity and understanding. It is this relationship where there is a very large scope for the existence of Expectations from the spouse and it is this relationship where there is a very high demand for the existence of the sense and sensibilities to accept the limitations of the spouse. And it is the presence of this tension amidst the scope and demand that defines the driving force of the most interesting relationship in material world. The driving force, referred to, can either make or mar the decorum of the relationship. Where the said scope and demand dynamics work hand in hand a positive energy, a synergy, is generated which contributes in pumping lifeblood into the relationship. On the contrary, where the said scope and demand dynamics work out of sync, the relationship suffers, is either deteriorated jeopardizing the “Happiness Quotient” of family life or breaks down to a premature and unnatural death.

The only way to utilize this synergy is to maintain a healthy balance between the Expectancy and Acceptance. One needs to learn to accept before expecting. Seeing the increasing number of divorces / unhappy marriages and also respecting the fact that a great number of these are attributed to the presence of a one-sided legal laws related to marriage, open to widespread manipulation by the “protected” party, it has become an established fact that the “Expectancy level” of the modern “wife” has risen, and “Acceptance potential” has dropped to alarmingly dangerous levels. Coming future is definitely going to witness a sharp increase in such cases if nothing is going to be done to curb this menace called “Legal Terrorism” by the Honorable Supreme Court. The society needs to be educated about the “Expectancy level and Acceptance potential” syndrome. Let us spread this message to corners far and wide of the humanity ocean and be a radical catalyst responsible for bringing a change responsible for the betterment of the society.

06.26.08

29 Point Agenda to counter Legal Terrorism

Posted in Men, Women, dowry, legal extortion, legal terrorism, marriage, society tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 10:22 pm by legalfighter

We would recommend the following :

1.                    To convert section 498A into a bailable one.

2.                    To convert section 498A into a non – cognizable one.

3.                    A circular should be immediately issued to all the Police Stations in the country with specific directions not to arrest any person u/s 498A and 406 without thorough investigations and attempts of counseling where the wife is alive. If any arrest is made, it should be officially signed and authorized by a SP or DC rank and the police should be made to justify the arrest with prima facie evidence.
4.                    The learned court could carefully consider whether the allegations of the bride are indeed genuine at least against the in-laws or other relatives of the husband when it directs investigation under section 156(3) of CrPC for an offence under section 498A.

5.                    The Learned court could carefully take into account whether custodial detention is at all needed for the in-laws and other relatives.

6.                    Arrest should be made only after getting orders from the Magistrate after primary investigation and producing facts and evidences before the Magistrate

7.                    Arrest should not be made before trial in cases where the wife is alive.

8.                    Sections 120B, 177, 182, 211, 199, 200, 209, 499 and 500 of IPC should be extensively used against false complainants.

9.                    If a wife files 498A, the husband should be allowed immediate divorce.

10.                At the stage of counseling before 498A, the parents and/or relatives of the wife should be strictly prohibited to interfere in the family matter of the daughter. If the in-laws are blamed, after investigation, the in-laws should be separated from the son of the family. The husband and wife should be asked to stay separately.
11.                Counseling if any should be brought out of the ambit of police or government officials and be handed over to different NGO’s working in this field hence making sure that it is a real counseling and not a threatening process.

12.                To replace the word “husband” or “wife” with the word “spouse in all related laws, so as to ensure equality in law for men and women.

13.                Make provisions for a man to file complaint when a wife and in-laws harass him and commit cruelty. Create sections 498B and 304C in IPC to protect men and women in his family when the perpetrators of crime are daughters-in-law and their family.

14.                Make provision for penalty on a false complaint by amending IPC 498A. Lodging a complaint u/s 498A IPC has become a tool of manipulation, legal blackmail and legal terrorism in the hands of certain unscrupulous people.

15.                Speedy and fair trial in all marital disputes.

16.                Make registration of marriages compulsory. Gifts at time of marriage must be listed and photographed.

17.                Make extensive use of section 3 and 4 of the Dowry Prevention Act.

18.                Strict conviction of either the complainant or the defendant.
19.                No negotiations be allowed at the cost of money/property/gift whatsoever and the faulty should be severely punished.

20.                For any negotiation or exchange of amounts made, both the parties should be made liable for prosecution on recommendation of a third party.

21.                Ensure fair and unbiased investigation & trial of Dowry related complaints, which is totally in favor of daughter-in-law and disregards the trauma caused to mothers and sisters due to a false complaint. Judiciary and enforcement agencies must recognize the possibility of wives and daughter-in-law maltreating the husband and old in-laws or other vulnerable members of the husband’s family.

22.                Distant relatives not routinely living with the couple should not be allowed to be named in the complaint and excluded routinely.

23.                Fathers should not be routinely deprived of child custody by assuming mother is the best for the child. Child should not be made to choose between parents and joint custody be preferred.

24.                No Passport surrender and unnecessary travel restrictions should be imposed at the time of bail. Passports should not be impounded and restrictions of going abroad where wife is alive should be lifted with a condition that the husband should appear in the court as and when summoned.

25.                Elder abuse in the name of IPC 498A should be absolutely stopped.

26.                Government employees should not face compulsory suspension in case arrested due to a false complaint.

27.                Legislation involving domestic issues should be enacted keeping in view the preservation of institution of marriage and not based on gender bias.

28.                82% of the individual income tax collected in the country is paid by men. Spending is all done for women only. Animals in the country have a welfare ministry. Now is a need for opening of a Men’s welfare ministry.

29.                Unlike the Crime Against Women Cells, Crime Against Men Cells are also becoming need of the hour.

06.25.08

Delhi moves to save men from dowry laws

Posted in Men, Women, dowry, legal extortion, legal terrorism, marriage, society tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 1:55 pm by legalfighter

Another eye opener by IBN 7

Click here to see the video

06.22.08

Open letter to Director, WCD, Karnataka

Posted in Men, Women, dowry, legal extortion, legal terrorism, marriage, society tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:42 pm by legalfighter

Hello Madam,

As I understand you are the director of Women and Child Development in Karnataka. I would like to put this question to you, as to what is the WCD ministry doing for lakhs of those innocent suffering women who are thrusted to jail on mere allegations (true or false) of mental harassment and torture related to dowry.

I am writing this email from my son’s email id. My name is Neena R Dhulia. I am a 60 year old woman who has to attend court dates every month, here in Bangalore for my estranged Daughter -in – law has filed 3 false cases implicating me, my aged and ailing husband and my 27 year old young son. One case has been filed in Kolkata for which my son has to make monthly trips to Kolkata taking leaves from office. My husband is suffering from asthma, chronic bronchitis and is retired. We are solely dependent on our only son for all expenses.

Here is the brief of the ordeal we went thro’ and are still undergoing and if you do not help us, it will continue without any end.

My son’s was an arranged marriage and it took place on 12th Feb 2007 in Kolkata. No sooner after the marriage it came to forth that the girl, Viral Goda (maiden name) had serious psychological and behavioral problems. She was suffering from extreme mood swing and was used to utter habitual lies. Within just 2 months of the marriage, she went to her parents’ place for some days. My son also booked a flght ticket for her as demanded by her father. After going there, her behavior changed very much. She stopped talking to us and within 2 weeks her father refused to send her back, till her ‘conditions’ are satisfied and refused to disclose the same. After that they went incommunicado over phone. My son could not take leaves from office, so he sent her a plain letter asking her to come back. She did not come back. After about a month or so, my husband went to Kolkata, struggling with his dwindling health, to bring her back.

She insulted him badly in front of our relatives and said that my son will have to sign on 10 of her and 6 of her father’s conditions and then only will she ‘think’ of returning. They did not even disclose their conditions and kept pressurizing for my son to go to Kolkata from Bangalore to sign the conditions. They had visited all our relatives’ place and defamed us so much (and specifically me) with false and concocted stories convincing them so much, that no one came forth to our help. We kept them requesting for an amicable settlement, but they never listened to us. Suddenly on 10th September 2007, they landed at our place with the local police and blamed us for ‘Harassing her for dowry’. This was a totally baseless and false allegation as we are Gujarati Jains and there is no Dowry system in our community. Soon their agenda became clear when they demanded 12 lacs rupees in front of the police for not filing the case. Even the police did not listen to us. My son kept pleading to the officer to give him a chance to present our side of the story. But the police officer was in no mood to listen. He also behaved very badly with me and talked to in a manner very unbecoming of a police officer of the rank of SHO talking to an elderly woman. When we failed to satisfy their illegal demands, they filed the case with the cock and bull story they told the police. We were kept in over night police custody. Next day me and my husband were granted bail on health grounds and my son was sent to the Central Jail for 2 days. They also bribed the PP to object for my son’s bail for at least 15 days. But the learned judge granted bail to my son. It has been almost 10 months now since then and apart from court dates, nothing much has happened. In addition they filed cases on us under Domestic Violence Act 2005, 125 CrPC. She has demanded 30, 000 per month as maintenance in Bangalore in DV Act and 30,000 in maintenance. Already she is getting interim Rs. 2500 per month as maintenance under Domestic Violence Act. All this happened to us just because she is a ‘married woman’ and has cried hoarse of dowry harassment. We were put to jail without trial.

They even got this printed in the Times Of India, pg 3, 13 Sept 2007, Bangalore Edition. Why is the media so biased? Even before the case has gone to trial, they have published the verdict. Why is your department not taking action against such biased media reports?? Such false reports are poisoning our society and strangulating the family system of India. People, knowing that they may get a girl child are heading towards abortion as they fear that there are 80 % chances  that their daughter will be killed, kicked, raped or tortured for dowry, as published by UN. Why is your department not taking objection to these false and baseless reports adversely brainwashing the mindset of the common people?

This is just a brief version. There are many more things that happened to us. But what I want to know from you is, does your esteemed ministry consider the mothers and sisters of a married Indian male as women? If it does so, then how come in the last 4 years, 95, 000 innocent women have been arrested on mere complaints, without any trial being conducted and your esteemed department is totally mum about it? The laws meant to protect a woman are working against them. For every complaint of dowry harassment made by one woman, there are on an average 3-4 women who are harassed by the police and later it is found that the matter is settled out of court with payment to girls side to the tune of lacs. One word, DOWRY, a married woman utters in front of the police to hide all her follies and the whole family of the in – laws is devastated and treated worst then hardcore criminals like murderers, rapists, burglars and dacoits. Is this the era of Women Liberation for which such laws were passed ??

Why is it that your department is not vouching to fight against this misuse of dowry laws rather than spreading false statistics. A study conducted by Center for Social Research shows that the misuse is to the tune of 98 %. And yet such a law is let loose for Legal Terrorism to  be unleashed on innocent law abiding and honest tax paying citizens of India and that too in today’s era of WOMEN EMPOWERMENT.

Is this what your department calls for WOMEN EMPOWERMENT that when a girl fails to deliver her role in a marriage because of her parents’ faulty upbringing, the blame has to be happily passed over to innocent in-laws and terrorise them to coerce them for a payment of the girls’ misdeeds and follies.

This is not only just my case. My son has joined an NGO called Save Indian Family Foundation, that is dedicated to the cause of creating awareness against this ongoing Legal Terrorism and help its victims. Just in Bangalore, alone every week he says, he gets around 8 – 10 new cases and these are the ones who have somewhere heard about the NGO and approach them for help. There are many many silent victims who are dying a slow death everyday as they have no one to listen to theri woes or help them.

06.21.08

Open letter to the WCD Minister

Posted in Men, society tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 10:41 pm by legalfighter

To,

Ms. Renuka Choudhury,

Minister, Government of India,

Ministry of Women and Child Development,

Shastri Bhavan `A’ Wing,Dr. Rajendra Prasad Road,

New Delhi-110001

Sub : Review of Domestic Violence Act, 2005 on 25th June 2008

Respected Madam,

This is in connection to the review meeting and the article in Today’s Telegraph: Men wail on Renuka’s shoulders

It is extremely surprising that NONE of the below NGOs fighting for family harmony and male rights have been invited for the 25th June 2008 review meeting on Domestic Violence Act 2005, till date.

Organizations working towards stoppage of misuse of Dowry Laws and Legal Terrorism in India and promoting family and marital harmony

  1. Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), Bangalore: 0934285323538/09845143724
  2. Save Family Foundation (SFF), Delhi: 9810611534 / 9911119113
  3. Gender Human Rights Society, Delhi : 9899329991 / 9811052770
  4. Manushi, Delhi : 011-23978851 / 9350041502
  5. Men Cell, Delhi : 9810170681 / 9868142608
  6. Mothers and Sisters Initiative (MASI), Delhi : 9818454928
  7. Save Innocent Mother and Sister (SIMS), Bangalore:09342041382
  8. Protect Indian Family (PIF), Mumbai : 09869323538 / 09821414336
  9. Men Rights Protection, Mumbai : 09892668560
  10. Bharat Bachao Sangathan, Kolkata : 09830151555
  11. Protect Men’s Right, Kerala : 09387052990 / 0484230478
  12. Sahana, Hyderabad:09848280354 / 09908578457
  13. Asha Kiran, Bangalore: 080-65334135
  14. Kutumb Rakshna Vedike, Bangalore : 09886934853
  15. Protect Men’s Rights, Orissa : 0943708337
  16. Pati Pariwar Kalyan Samiti, Lucknow : 09839097522
  17. Rakshak, USA/Delhi : 9810452017
  18. My Nation, Dubai/USA: 0096-53869295
  19. Pirito Purush Pati Parishad Kolkata : 09433094337 / 09231529437
  20. All India Forgotten Women, Hyderabad : 09704683163
  21. Gujarat Gaurav Raksha Samiti (GGRS) : Vijay Wadhwani
  22. The Akhil Bharatiya Patni Atyachaar Virodhi Sangh (ABPAVS), Gujarat
  23. Association of Protection of Mens Rights, Chennai
  24. Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting, Bangalore (CRISP)
  25. Peoples United Relationship Enhancement, Mysore (PURE)
  26. Save Indian Family Organisation Rajasthan, Jaipur
  27. Purushak Sangrashan Sanstha, Nasik

The websites:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MyNationFoundation
www.saveindianfamily.org
www.mynation.net
www.498a.org
www.protectindianfamily.org
www.siftimes.com
www.savefamily.org
www.vaghelasv.com
www.pariwariksuraksha.org
www.mancell.i8.com

http://killingmarriageforvotes.wordpress.com/report-a-blog/

Various NGOs from the above list have already submitted their memorandums separately in February 2008 on the comments on the review of Domestic Violence Act 2005, and till date NONE of the above NGOs have received the invitation to join the review committee on 25th June 2008.

It is even more surprising then who are these 100 male activists who have been invited in the meeting? An RTI is also being filed to know the credentials of these 100 Male activists, the NGOs to which they belong, the NGOs websites and their memorandums and what have these NGOs done for the male rights till date.

Awaiting an early response from your end as it is already 21st June, 2008 and it take some time for these above NGOs for preparation for the 25th June 2008 Domestic Violence Review Meeting.

Thanking you,

Yours sincerely,

Legal Fighter

A Victim of your Women Centric – Male Hater laws

06.19.08

Male Victims in India – Always dammed

Posted in Men, Women, legal extortion, legal terrorism, marriage, society tagged , , , , , , , at 1:22 pm by legalfighter

Recently the Arushi Murder case made quite a sensational headline. All the major news channels flashing the headlines. Honorable minister of Women and Child Development, Mrs. Renuka Choudhary also took the police force to task for not handling the case properly and using derogatory language for Arushi and demanded a CBI probe into the same. But what everyone conveniently forgot here is the fact that there were two murder victims, the second one being the male servant, Hemraj. But barely do we hear any news of the unfortunate invisible male victim in the twin murder episode in Noida.

But whilst there has been a lot of gung ho about delivering justice to a 14 year old Arushi, which is fairly acceptable as well, but such a provision does not mandate depriving a male victim his share of justice as well. People, society, authorities, government, media, all and sundry involved have conveniently forgotten the invisible male victim in the whole episode. Also the father has been made the easily sellable scapegoat accused as per the convenient male victim theory. Even the CBI taking custody of the father Mr. Rajesh Talwar for about close to two weeks now, has failed to find any evidence against him and he has spent 2 weeks in jail.

For how long will the males in this country be dammed in the name of justice and duty? One girl dies and so much of a euphoria is created, will the same be created had Rajesh fathered a male child and that child would have met the same unfortunate fate? There are so many boys murdered in the society and there is not even a mention of those unfortunate deaths let alone imparting justice to them. If this the era of Gender Equality then why are the males in this country always dammed and denied a fair and impartial chance let alone justice. What is the definition of such an equality which is suffering from biased standards?

An adolescent child studying in class XI / XII involves in rash and drunken driving and instead of punishing that child, amendments are proposed to cancel the driving license of the Father. Why not of the mother? Is it not a mother’s role to imbibe values in her children and when the attempt fails, the father, a male has to pay the penalty, why?

For how long will the society remain oblivious to the woes and blues of the INVISIBLE MALE VICITM? And consider their harassment as an honorary service? Psychologists have time and again warned against cornering and now Indian men are facing the same cornering and this phenomenon has led to the development of severe distrust amongst male towards the system.

Yesterday a man in UP who was arrested on charges of illegal liquor trade and was being sent to jail, was beaten up black and blue by the police when he pleaded innocence and resented being sent to jail as he feared more violent treatment in jail. He kept crying and re-iterating his stand that he was falsely implicated, but the policemen beat him up in full public view and in front of the media. There was no one to save him from the draconian clutches of the inhuman policemen who were acting like goons in uniform. Is this a form of treatment the civil society is going to adduce to males?

The civil society needs to wake up to this alarming trend of the meaty treatment meted out to the males of this country who do the most risky jobs, pay 82 % of taxes and yet do neither have a Men’s Welfare Ministry nor a National Commission of Men to redress their grievances and that is the reason the unfortunate males in this country have to resort to suicide to end their woes as is reflected in the suicide statistics as published by the National Crime Records Bureau. Every year on an average 75, 000 men are ending their lives as opposed to 35, 000 women. Yet these figures never make their way to the public. The fourth pillar of democracy, the media has to take this responsibility to highlight the plight of men in this country who are living in a very delirious situation at the point of being target to injustice any moment.

Men need to understand the scenario and they need to highlight their woes to the government to get their grievances redressed.

06.17.08

Society – A Mirage?

Posted in Men, Women, society tagged , , , at 10:09 pm by legalfighter

Gender wars have been at the core of the societal imbalance since ages immemorial. And these wars have been largely instrumental in the design and state of the society. All major societal structures like relationships, obligations, social and moral responsibilities revolve around this concept of gender wars. Various behavioral patterns and social norms are also laid down in and around this concept of Gender wars.

By and large the society is what we see today a result of these conflicts arising out of daily life. But now we have a million dollar question, as to what exactly is the society and who actually comprise of it? How has the so called ‘contractors of the society’ been given the authority to rule the lives and decision of so many other people and in reality who actually are the ‘contractors of the society’? What laid to the installation of the fear of social ostracization amongst folks so that a certain set of activities are doomed as ‘unacceptable’ in the society and the people of the clan always take care to see that the banned set of activities is not encouraged in the society? And a plethora of such questions do certainly irk the rationale as one analyzes the evolution of the society.

As a general observation and a rule of thumb, every person in the society defines “The Society” to be comprising of the people around oneself excluding oneself. Thus, the society actually becomes a very convenient scapegoat for wrongful decisions or the need for strict adherence to certain practices without understanding its essentialities or consequences.

If a girl runs away with the neighborhood boy, the family is more concerned about its position in the society rather than the girl’s emotions and feelings and even if she returns, the family is more happy about restoring the ‘apparently lost’ position. If the girl asks the question about her feelings and emotions or expects them to be reciprocated by the family, the family is actually at a loss of answers and thus conveniently passes the blame to the society, saying ‘It is not acceptable in our society’.

If a boy does not perform so well in his studies or his career, then also the family is more concerned about its repercussions on the societal position rather than trying to understand the reasons of his non – performance. Or to make an attempt to understand his actual area of interest and give him a chance to perform in that area. On the other hand, the family pressurizes him to get results as they are ‘losing position’ in the society. And if the boy asks the question about his own interests, then also the blame is very conveniently passed to the society, saying, ‘If you want to stay in this society, you have to stay according to it’.

The whole concept of society has been so deceptively conceived to pass on certain ubiquitously stereotypic histrionics generation over generation, that now the very basic question, the one raised above is very difficult to answer. It is not hard to find people talking ill of the society, cribbing about the wrongs happening in the society, the rising crime, the growing apathy, the dwindling commitment in relationships, the increasing commercialization leading to severe breach of trusts and so on and so forth. But at the same time, it is equally hard to find a dedicated team of committed people ready to take the responsibility to set at least one of them correctly. Again, in the process of cribbing and complaining, people pass the blame to the society thinking that everyone else other than themselves forms the society and being responsible for the mess, should clear it.

With everyone thinking themselves not to be a part of the society this whole concept of society, which actually finds its seeds in the dire need to establish civilization, remains present in a very inconspicuous form. Like a mirage in a desert, visible from a distance, and disappearing fast as one approaches it. Similarly for the problems faced by the civil society at present, a superficial glance will always depict that the society itself is responsible for the mess. But if analyzed closely, it boils down to the question, whether everyone actually does consider oneself as part of the society and ready to take one’s responsibility in setting right things right. And had everyone actually done it, the society as it stands today, would have been in a much better shape and form, if the society actually existed outside us. It does not. It exists within us. Each one of us is the society and each one needs to put in efforts to stabilize the swinging pendulum of societal chaos.

It is still not late. We can do it now. We will do it now. For its now or never.

06.11.08

Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)

Posted in Men, Women, marriage, society tagged , , , , , , , , at 6:55 pm by legalfighter

Rally demanding Children’s Right on 14th June 2008

http://www.citizens4crisp.org

Contact: 98452 64488, 93428 53272, 9243473794

PRESS RELEASE

On Saturday, 14th June 2008, Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) protest in front of Mahatma Gandhi Statue, MG Road demanding children rights. People from all walks of life including Software engineers, Doctors, NRI’s and Businessmen will participate in this protest.

CRISP is an initiative aimed at protecting the rights of the children.

CRISP is a Non Governmental Organization(NGO) founded recently by a group of citizens, who recognize the serious effects of “parental alienation” on children due to single parent families on account of divorce or separation. CRISP also focuses on furthering the rights of a child to remain connected with both parents in case parents get divorced. While most NGOs pertaining to children deal with issues related to child labour, education, etc. we deal with issues related to unquestionable right of children to be cared for by both biological parents.

Our aims and objectives are based on research findings worldwide which indicate that children do best when both parents are actively involved in their lives, even after separation or divorce. We believe that conflict between parents will get reduced and the mental and emotional health of children will improve, when divorcing parents can be assured of equal and meaningful contact with their children.

According to CRISP, Parents contemplating divorce should be given manadatory counselling on “shared parenting” and the benefits there of by a panel of experts supervised by the family court. This will eliminate unnecessary child custody battles and stress to the parents and the children.

Parental alienation occurs, when one parent disallows the other parent from communicating with their children for personal vendetta. The dominant parent then brainwashes the child against the other parent, assuring the child that it is all right to ignore the other parent. This brings a lot mental distress and trauma to the child and the alienated parent.

Indian legal system is still based on a patriarchal mindset, which considers fathers as not capable of nurturing the children. However, today many fathers are competent of taking care of the needs of the children for normal upbringing. When women can multitask by going to work, doing domestic chores and also take care of children, it is baseless to say that men/fathers are not capable of taking care of children. With rise in number of working parents in nuclear family setup, the father’s involvement in raising the children is a must. Otherwise, the child is simply left at the mercy of servants and strangers in day care centers.

The mindsets in Indian legal system has to change by taking account of the current social situation. Shared parenting is recognised in many western countries.

CRISP demands an Early Intervention Project where divorcing parents would have to meet with a panel of experts to clarify issues such as custody, finance, education and children’s upbringing before proceeding with the divorce.

“Studies have shown that children who go through their parents’ divorce have

· more conduct problems,

· symptoms of psychological maladjustment,

· lower academic achievement,

· social difficulties and problematic relationships with both parents.

To make matters worse, many parents often influence their children to choose one parent over the other and this is often traumatic for the child and this cruelty on the child has to be stopped.

Strengthen Fatherhood and Families: Since 1960, the number of American children without fathers in their lives has quadrupled, from 6 million to more than 24 million. Children without fathers in their lives are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. As the proverb goes, “One father is better than 100 teachers.”

In United States of America, Statistics reported tells that Children from fatherless homes are:

· 5 times more likely to commit suicide

· 32 times more likely to run away from home.

· 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders

· 14 times more likely to commit rape.

· 9 times more likely to drop out of high school.

· 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)

· 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution

· 20 times more likely to end up in prison.

· 3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases

· At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14years to 19years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases.

It is important for all citizens of the nation to wake up to stop a future social catastrophe as it has happened in western countries. We have to learn from the social experiments in America and Europe and stop repeating the mistakes western countries did in last 30 years. Today, billions of dollars are spent in those countries to tackle the behavioral problems. In fact, this is a major issue in most election campaigns in those countries as billions are spent on it. If a child is denied care of father as at present and if India becomes a fatherless society, then it will simply create more criminals, rapists and drug addicts in next 15 years (as shown in the statistics above). The entire social fabric and culture will be in ruins and the damage will be irreversible. So, CRISP members want to stop this social catastrophe and save the future generations from narrow mindsets.

CRISP is dedicated in putting efforts to the creation of a judicial system, legislative system, and public awareness, which promotes equal rights for ALL parties affected by divorce and the breakup of a family keeping in mind the best interests of the child.

As custody battles between parents increase, counseling of separating or divorced parents can have a positive effect on the overall development of the child.

CRISP wants to highlight:

That joint custody is the best outcome for children whose parents are separated. Child needs the support of both biological parents. Both biological parents should be responsible for the emotional and psychological well-being of their children.

That “Interparental Child Abduction” is Child Abuse. Often one parent takes the child to another country without the permission of the other parents or the courts. It is known as parental abduction and is a criminal act under international laws including Hague Convention.

That the practice of alienating the child from the other parent is Child Abuse.

That grandparents should have rights and access to their grandchildren.

That gender bias should be eliminated from family law and from future legislation.

That parties should resist from using gender biased laws to wreak vengeance on the non-custodial parent.

Demands by CRISP – Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting:

· Ensuring meaningful and balanced participation of both parents in the lives of children in case of separation of the parents.

· Single mothers should be given mandatory counseling to increase involvement of biological father in the child’s life.

· Existing visitation schedules to increase and enhance the role of “non-custodial parents” in the best interest of the child.

· Reforms in the existing child custody laws, practices for equal parenting sensitized to consider child’s wish.

· 50% of the custody to be given to the fathers.

· Govt. must allocate funds for conducting research on the adverse impact on fatherless children.

· Creating a Ministry for children by separating the existing Women and Child (WCD) ministry. A separate union minister for children must be appointed.

On 14th June, CRISP activists from various parts of India will conduct a massive protest in front of Gandhi Statue, on MG Road Bangalore. The time of the protest is from 10:00am till 1:00pm. About 150 to 200 men, women, elders and children are expected to participate in the protest. There are 30 to 40 men and women traveling from Hyderabad, Chennai and other parts of South India to participate in this protest. Most of them are scientists, NRIs, Software Engineers, Doctors and Business persons. The protests will be held every month in different parts of India till Indian parliament amends the laws to Save Indian Children and prevent social catastrophe in future.

06.10.08

Dads fight for justice

Posted in dowry tagged , , , , , , , , , at 7:48 pm by legalfighter

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